As I sit down and begin to write this post, all I can think to myself is pot. kettle. black. A little bit of a different perspective to my usual posts but I think it’s a really important one to share with you. Talking about motivation and keeping it together – which most people think I have an abundance of – wrong. When I tell people about everything I do manage to cram into the day, I get a mixed response that ranges from “are you superwoman” to “are you crazy?!” Other people seem to think that all I do is write the occasional blog and ride my horses – wrong.
I don’t mention it very often although I’m not sure why, but my career is one of the biggest parts of my life. I have quite a highly-respected and stressful job as a Regulatory Affairs Manager in a pharmaceutical company which I absolutely love. I am a career girl and my aim is to get to the top of my respective field. To be totally honest I’m a bit of a geek and I always have been, which is why I find myself embarking on my second MSc (Master of Science) degree, whilst doing my full-time afore mentioned job. It’s also not enough for me to just get by, I pride myself on achieving the highest possible standards that I can, basically meaning that I put myself under so much unnecessary pressure – a prime example of which is that I want to achieve a 1st class in this MSc to follow suit after my existing BSc and MSc degrees – if I don’t manage to maintain that standard, I’m going to feel like a failure. It’s crazy isn’t it?
This post isn’t to boast about my academic achievements, although I am starting to wonder why I don’t take more pride in my achievements – I just expect them as the norm and carry on without acknowledgement when I do achieve them. So maybe that’s where I’m going wrong a little bit, everyone has to blow their own trumpet now and again and it’s something that I never do. On top of work and MSc work, I also managed to author an article recently about work-related topics (which I won’t bore you with) and have it published in a world-renowned international peer reviewed journal. Something that I have wanted to achieve for many years now and again, something that I have not celebrated.
I also have 3 gorgeous horses, which I am so lucky to keep at home (my parents home because I don’t live there anymore, although I’m there twice a day so I haven’t really moved out!), but it does mean that I have a lot of work to do on top of my working day (which starts with about an hour’s commute), because there isn’t anyone else there to do it for me – although I do admit without my mum I wouldn’t be able to cope, she helps a lot. It also means that for half of the year, all I seem to do is muck out in the dark, rain and cold and never ride. For the other half of the year when I can ride, I’m battling time and tiredness.
Taking some time out this weekend to try and get back to normal!
So why am I telling you all of this? Well I just want to put my life into perspective for you, it’s not all fun in the countryside, lovely days out and (lots of) new shoes, clothes and bags. I am a really independent girl – anything I want, I save for it – I don’t expect someone else to buy it for me. That’s another common misconception people seem to have is that everything is handed to me on a plate, or bought for me – it really annoys me because it’s so wrong. I don’t rely on anyone else and that’s why I work so hard to be able to have and do those lovely things – and that’s also why I probably don’t have as much as some other people you come across. I’ve always been the same – right from when I was little, I used to pick up stray potatoes behind the potato grading machinery where adults were too big to get, for my dad in order to have my ponies. Quite a good deal I’d say!
So I admit, I do try to fit a lot into the day – but so does everyone else don’t they?
The reason I wanted to write this post is for a few reasons really. I wanted to explain the reason for not posting much recently, but I also wanted to give an accurate reflection of my life because far too many people have a completely unrealistic view of what that entails. Recently I’ve been feeling totally overwhelmed, exhausted and generally not very well and most people have told me that it’s because I do too much. I admit, I definitely do try to do too much – every minute of the day is accounted for and there’s always a plan, but normally I am ok with that. So I’ve been to the doctors and it turns out I’ve actually been quite ill in the last 3 months, and where most people would have had to take a few weeks off or maybe even been hospitalised, I have told myself I’m being ridiculous and made myself carry on. To the point where I’ve now exhausted myself and had to take a break from something. Unfortunately this has been the blog which is really sad because I had so many great plans for it this year – and particularly this month as it’s my first anniversary – can you believe it!!
The blog has had a very slight break, but things will be back to normal soon simply because there’s loads to show you! I’m not putting too much pressure on myself though now, it has to fit in with everything else. My blog is a passion and I want to keep it that way, if I get too worried and stressed that I haven’t posted anything it’s going to stop being enjoyable. It’s also pointless writing a blog to tell you that I haven’t been up to anything exciting because I’ve been too busy (which is kind of what I’m doing now…but I won’t make a habit of it I promise!), because that’s no fun for anyone!
Everyone lets things get on top themselves sometimes, but if you take a step back and appreciate what you are achieving instead of what you’re not (this is classic Harriet), things will seem more manageable and most importantly, you will feel a little better. And a little better goes a long way when you are feeling a bit down in the dumps.
I promise I’ll be back to normal soon! X